Ground Control To Major Tom

Hunter S. Thompson was a huge NFL football fan back in his day. But now whenever I read the passages where he mentions specific games in books or articles he seems so dated...

Nevertheless, like the Good Doctor, I can't help at times being totally enraptured (speaking in tongues, foaming at the mouth, shaking spastically) by the Sporting event of the day.

Especially now when I can't help but ask the question: What exactly is it about football; High School, College, NFL, and ultimately, Fantasy Football which has America strapped utterly by the Nuts?

Evolution? Tribalism? Boredom? Whatever.

No time for that now... The 2008 season has opened with a litany of self-important stories and I guarantee you there's too-big a pile of money on the line to bother with such questions.

A sizable portion of which--lies on the injured knee of Tom Brady.

Tom Brady.

What is... or ever has been... more American... than this Fucking Guy?

Consider the resume:
-Multiple= Super Bowl Championships x3.
-Gained= favor of adoring fans worldwide
-Gained= favor of Republican President of the United States with invitation to and recognition during the State of The Union Address, 2004.
-Cleft Chin, WASP, tall, handsome.
-Ability= to get best not only out of himself, but the bratty talent around him.
-Multiple= bedded Hottest women on the planet.
-Near perfection= 18-1 record, most TD's thrown in history, 2007.

Tom Brady.

What do the Republicans have on you? You sonofabitch.

..."And yet... Even after he shattered his knee, he didn't give up... He kept fighting. Fighting for the American People. That they too... may rise and face the challenges set before them... And that they too, may someday at least Hope to bed the Hottest Brazilian women on the face of the planet..."

...I'm Tom Brady, And I Impregnate, This Message.